A REALLY Bad Parenting Day

Two days ago was one of the worst parenting days of my life.  I was under a lot of stress to complete a Christening gown by this morning; I had emotional issues with both sets of parents and inlaws, and Sarah Katherine and Christopher were being HIGHLY argumentative.  This was their first week with total free time and it wasn't going well.  I tell you all that not to justify my actions, but rather to set the stage.

 

Sarah Katherine and I had been sparring for several hours about attitude and tone.  It seemed to me that everything she said was done in a disrespectful way and she kept asking me to take her places (remember the Christening dress?).  Every time I came into the living room, she was sprawled on the couch which was irritating me as I rushed around doing laundry, picking up and answering questions in between sewing.  Basically she was being a typical teen and it was annoying me.

 

In walks Christopher who asks if he can go to a friends house.  We've already got plans to meet other friends at the pool which I explain to him, but being Christopher he doesn't let up and today I just couldn't take it.  I'll suffice it to say voices were very raised and I truly had to walk away as I was losing control.  Sarah Katherine comes to his rescue and says, "Mama please don't take how angry you are at me out on Christopher."  {Might as well have inserted please don't take how upset you are at other things out on me}  How is it that she is so perceptive and I am so out of control?  I can't remember what happened next, but she and I entered into another combat of words.  After a few minutes of silence she gets up and leaves the room.  Now here is where I could have saved a bit of myself and the awful parenting day, but no--I am on a roll and can't let go.  I sit there stewing and think, "She can't walk out on me in a huge huff rolling her eyes.  She's taking this separating herself to avoid arguments a step to far (a skill I taught her).  I get myself all worked up and storm into her room to give her a lecture on respect and kindness. 

 

I stand at the door and start talking, fully animated, finger pointing and "teaching  her a thing or two about how people should act" (I'm such a good example at this moment).  Sarah Katherine looks up from her book and says, "I'm sorry".  It's at this point in my tirade that I look down at what she's reading--the BIble!   I guess I was the one who needed to learn a thing or two.

 

It was a horrible parenting day, today is another day and another chance to get it right! 
Katherine

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."  --Dr. Seuss