Just another ride home

Last night we had church directory pictures--yes there is a blog in that experience, but it was the ride home that gets center stage this morning.

The conversation started with a simple statement that we needed to stop for tampons either tonight or I could get them in the am.

Chris: Menstruation sure is expensive.

William: SK showed me how to use a tampon today.

Christopher: When did you show him?

SK: I didn't show him on me. I just showed him what they looked like, and I showed him how you push them up.

Note that it never occurred to anyone to doubt that she had showed him--ugh--

Chris: Need I remind you that menstruation is expensive. We don't need to waste the product for tutorials.

William: Do you have to change them everyday?

SK: Every couple of hours. It's about not getting infections.

William: Every couple of hours!?!?! You must use a lot of tampons.

Caroline: Tampons are a great invention. I wonder who invented them? It's a good thing they did or there would be blood everywhere.

SK: No, before tampons they had pads.

William: What did they have before pads?

SK: I have no idea, maybe they didn't use anything.

William: What about during the frontier days?

SK: I don't know. They had long dresses.

William: So that's why they wore hoop dresses back then.

Christopher and SK together: NO!!!!

Caroline: What about the Indians? I mean they barely wore anything down there.

Christopher: They barely wore anything at all.

SK: I should have done the history of the tampon for my National History day project.

Chris: No, it's probably better that you didn't.

SK: The pill would have been good then.

Me: There's not a very long history of the pill. It's relatively new.

William: What's the pill?

we are now in the neighborhood, so I'm thinking this conversation cannot deteriorate; how wrong I was.

SK: (briefly explains what the pill is to William)

William: Are you on the pill?

Chris and I together: NO!!!!

SK: But there are a lot of girls my age on it to help regulate themselves.

Christopher: Yeah, right--

SK: No really, but the side effects can be pretty bad. Some people gain weight some break out.

I look over at Chris and can see the wheels spinning in his mind. How does she know about side effects?

SK: So, I don't think I want to go on it.

And with that we pulled into the driveway--just a family ride home from getting church directory pictures.

Oh Caroline

I'd like to say that dinner was typical last night, and I guess it was--just not typical in your Leave It to Beaver kind of way. No, the conversation was pretty much typical Doyle which is more PG 13 than G. Caroline had been talking about walking through the lingerie section of Dillards--of course she calls it the boobie department. In an effort to be a semi grownup, I suggested we call body parts by their correct names. So then we had to listen to a litany of body parts--scrotum, sac, well you get the picture.

I thought the conversation was moving in the more mature direction when Christopher mentioned that his moles had gone away. He's been very concerned about them and the possibility of cancer. While I have complete empathy for this fear, I have also been trying to down play it. Me, "Well that's good, I guess it means they weren't cancer." Christopher, "No Mama, it means the cancer has gone into my skin. You're going to be so sorry if something happens to me." Chris, "You don't have cancer." Christopher, "Keep telling yourself that when you're lowering the casket." So I respond, "Christopher I'll make an appointment, or we can do it at your next check up."

Caroline, "Don't you mean his next puberty check?"

I was feeling good

This past week I spent a great deal of time in the car--269 miles in four days to be exact. Lots of togetherness time with the children, particularly Caroline. And here is our recent exchange as she sat behind me.

Caroline: "Mama, are you just letting your hair turn naturally gray now or are you going to keep coloring it?"

Me: "I'm going to keep coloring it for awhile longer. I'm getting it cut and colored at my next appointment."

Caroline: "when is it?"

Me: "Sept. 26"

Caroline: "You may want to see if you can move that appointment up."

That Would Be Cheaper

Caroline got a new puppy for Christmas. She's trying to take good care of him, and I'm trying to teach her to take care of him without me telling her what to do.

Last week at dinner Caroline was very proud. "Mama, I washed Bobby today. He was covered in mud. But I didn't get it all; I need to work on it some more." I was so proud of her. "Maybe I can help you. Where is the mud you couldn't get?"
Caroline, "It's underneath him. There are two balls of mud. I pulled and pulled and he kept whining and wiggling, so I stopped. I think I might get some scissors and cut them out."

The boys start laughing hysterically while at the same time trying to cover themselves. "Caroline," sputters Christopher, "Those are his testicles."