Family vacations have become very complicated. Between summer jobs, sports camps, and the very early start of fall sports, finding a week we can all be together is nearly impossible. This year Chris and I were determined to have a family vacation despite all the obstacles. But it meant creativity and two cars. (Just throwing that in there for environmentalists--we'd have to take 2 cars anyway but it feels less pollution enhancing if it's because we HAVE to leave on separate days.)
The Chris's left early Saturday morning. They were going to meet Daddy and William in Columbia. After much negotiating, they also took Bobby--the beloved (?) and obnoxious barking dog. (This is the dog we gave Caroline the year she started to not believe in Santa because we would NEVER buy a small dog and she knew that, but we definitely wanted another fully believing Christmas--they have to always act like they believe or the tree stays empty. Well that Christmas morning is one for the books--she believed. And now 3 1/2 years later, she's 14 so you can guess what she believes, and we still have Bobby; not sure we thought that one through very well.) Back to the story--other than lots of traffic and a much longer trip than planned, I haven't heard of any escapades--which only means they are hiding something....
Caroline returned home from field hockey camp mid afternoon Sunday. SK and I waited and we were going to drive as far as we could Sunday evening and then get to the beach on Monday--as early as possible. Thankfully our dear friend and knower of all information on everything, told me about a back way to get to I 26 that would miss sitting in the I 75 traffic. To tell you how desperate we were to get on the road, we didn't even wait for Caroline to shower. Anyone who has been around her after she is playing sports knows how desperate that proves we were.
As we got off the interstate in Corbin, KY to begin the back roads trek it started to rain. Having already taken my Sunday afternoon nap between Louisville and Lexington, I was driving. We were listening to SK's music through the stereo (trust me you would choose hers over Caroline's too). Every few minutes the music would stop and there would be some annoying weather screeching alert. It was hurting my ears; I was having a hard enough time driving through the torrential rain at dusk; and I just wanted to be at the beach, so I might have been a little less than on top of my game. "Turn that annoying noise off! We don't care what the weather drama is in Louisville." A few minutes later my iphone started screeching too. "SK, please change these weather apps so they are no broadcasting Louisville weather. I don't know how to do it and plus I'm driving!" Apparently not only do I not know how to turn off annoying apps, but I also don't understand GPS because this is what I heard next, "Mama, it's not Louisville weather. It's weather here and it's a tornado warning. It says to take shelter now." I had vacation on the brain--read not thinking at all clearly or at all which anyone who knows me well can attest to. I am terrified of weather and watch the weather channel not to mention having 4 weather apps on my iphone, "We've got to at least get to Johnson City." I had no idea how far we had to go; I could barely see the road, but it helped there were very few other cars on the road which I pointed out to the girls. They pointed out to me that only shows that everyone else had actually followed directions and taken shelter.
My knight in shining armor (husband) got us a hotel room in Johnson City and we made it. As we walked into the lobby at 8:30 pm, tired, hungry and smelly we were greeted by dozens of preteen girls who were there for a softball tournament. Oh happy day!!!! I certainly wasn't going to get back on the road--plus the room was paid for with points, so we took a deep breath and checked in. Across the parking lot was a BW3's (our go to restaurant) so we set off. The waiter tried to get Caroline to eat a dozen blazing wings in 10 minutes--she could totally do it but didn't want to. "But then your picture will be on our wall and I can see it everyday," the waiter explained. "I think he's flirting with me, " Caroline informed us, "And I even smell."
Back to the hotel where we were again greeted by shrieking girls from the lobby all the way up to our room and next door to our room--Good Lord deliver us! SK needed to get her steps in so she left to walk around the hotel. She was gone for quite some time. "Where did you walk?" I asked her. "This is a very small hotel," she answered, "I had to walk down the hall up the stairs down the hall up the stairs. There's only 4 floors. I stopped going on the main floor after the 4th round because people started staring." Both girls took showers--thank goodness! Back to how desperate we were to leave--SK had packed for Caroline who now began complaining about missing something. "Are you kidding me?" SK said, "Your drawers are disasters. I couldn't find anything. Don't you have some system about what goes in what drawer?" Caroline, "Well, I used to, but then one day I just took the whole pile and put it in one drawer and realized how much easier that is." I just sighed.
The next morning I woke them up early (7 am) and found they had slept in their clothes for the day. "Isn't it uncomfortable to sleep in bras?" I stupidly asked. "Not at all," Caroline matter-of-factly responded, "If I don't my boobs slide to the left. You don't have to worry about that." I honestly wanted to ask why the left and not the right, but I was too worried about the answer. As we were getting ready I was given a list of my annoying traits--like the way I drink coffee (the coffee I had brought to the room for BOTH SK and me). "You know," I said, "It's amazing that I have survived through life without ya'll." Without missing a beat SK responded, "It is and you even made friends."
We made it two blocks before we had to stop the car so my genetically OCD daughter could double check she hadn't left her bathing suit--Chris has many stories of having to pull over for me to check things. The previous night we had seen a bagel store that had a NOW OPEN sign, so we stopped. As we pulled into the parking lot Caroline said,, "I don't think it's going to be very good. It's new and the lot is empty." She was partly right that there was a problem. The bagels were good, but the service....The girl waiting on us was not at all pleasant--she didn't even crack at a smile at our jokes (and who doesn't think we're funny--or at least think Caroline is funny?) As we left SK said, "I don't think she's a morning person which is makes her career choice quite unfortunate."
Back on the road and all was well. We made it to the beach with little other drama.
Thursday afternoon Chris flew out to join his friends for his annual guy's "overindulge in every sport possible" weekend. (This is the shortest family week ever--2 days.) Before he left he put the bike rack and the bikes on the back of his car. I was grateful as I have no idea how to do it. But--SK decided she wanted to ride that afternoon so off they came. They did leave the rack on which I thought was the main issue. Friday morning I got up and was starting to get ready for my last morning run with Bobby and then stripping beds etc. Boss was already up and being extremely helpful collecting trash, stripping beds, and starting to pack up the car. (I have no idea why he was so eager to help and get on the road. I wasn't going to ask; I appreciated the help.) At 8 am we decided to wake the others and try to be on the road within the hour. He actually had a good time waking them up by blowing in their faces and watching/listening to them scream--that's another story. As the girls were beginning to get out of bed Boss froze--"Uh; I may not be right, but there is a chance that I've locked the keys in the trunk of the car." The girls took this as an opportunity to get back in bed. I began to retrace Boss' steps hoping this was another one of his ideas of a stupid joke. "Don't we have a spare somewhere?" "Um yes," I said, "In the spare key basket IN LOUISVILLE!!!!"
An hour and a half later pop a lock arrived. Keys found; cars finished being packed and out the door. It was only 10:30 so we were still doing okay. Wait, we're the Doyles nothing is ever as simple as it seems. Boss decided he needed a different size in the shirts he had bought the previous day, and we needed to stop for bagels. Again don't assume it's simple. He left 15 minutes before us; we called him after we got bagels and he still hadn't made it to the store. He was wandering around the parking lot because he couldn't find the store. (In his defense it's a huge shopping center and as he says, "I'm not obsessed with shopping. I've probably been here less than 10 times.) Finally on the road at 11:25--called Chris to tell him we were heading out.
"Explain to me how he locked the keys in the trunk. The bikes were on it and you can't open the trunk like that." "They rode bikes yesterday." I answered. "Why? Now the bikes are probably scratching the car. Did they fix the pedals right? I'm sure they didn't. Why did they want to ride?" I felt a tad bit guilty that I hadn't checked the bikes--I also didn't know what I'd be checking but that's beside the point. "At least they wanted to ride. It's good exercise." I could hear him thinking, "The bikes have been there all week and no one rode but now they want to?" but he didn't say anything. "I'll stop and check them at the next rest stop."
We pulled into the rest stop, and the bikes were fine. Better than fine. They had actually done an amazing job putting them on and securing them. Boss and SK got back into the acura and the babies and I in my car. They were going to continue to follow us. I started to back out and suddenly out of nowhere a car came flying down the lot so I stopped. A few minutes later I was going to again begin backing in when suddenly I saw Boss backing out and WHAM!! Yep right into me. He jumped out, ran around the car to my door and started saying, "I'm so sorry; I didn't see you; I'll pay for it." I semi calmly walked around the car to survey the damage. "It's not the bad, do you think?' he kept saying. At this point he stepped towards me and started to grab me to hug me. I guess that's not what it looked like to others in the parking lot because two men started moving towards us. "It's okay," I said, "We're family. It's all in the family." The babies were also now out of the car repeating, "Daddy's going to kill us." "What happened?" I stupidly asked. SK was about to fall down she was laughing so hard. Boss, "I think you were in my blind spot." SK, "Yeah, right before he started to back up he said, 'where's mama' and then BAM so I said, 'right there.'"
Back on the road I called Chris, "Have you had a beer yet today?" "No, why?" "Well, the good news is that the bikes are on really well." I heard him exhale and then clearly realized maybe he shouldn't have, "What else?" "Well Boss backed into me." There was little left to say....
