Boys and Prom are Way Worse than Girls...

Got up before 6 am to catch a flight back to Louisville so we could be home for prom (or as Chris

says so I can be a part of the prom paparazzi).  We got home around 11 am--William was heading to the shower and Boss was nowhere to be seen.  After checking in with the girls (that should probably read after I convinced the girls to make a grocery list, go to the store and then come home and make the appetizer and desserts I had promised to bring to the sophomore prom dinner), I found him asleep in the basement.  To be fair, he's been really sick so getting as much sleep as he can is a good idea, but I had just discovered he had yet to pick up his tux (which he only ordered on Wednesday!!!).  I tried to wake him up...

I gave up and came upstairs; a few minutes later he emerged wondering loudly why I was so worked up.  "I've got several hours; it's all good." he told me as he began scavenging for food.  "There's no food in this house," he yelled from the kitchen.  William chimed in at this point, "Yeah there's no food."  "I've sent the girls to the store," I defensively responded, "And besides I stocked the house before I left on Thursday."  (Truth is I continually stock the house but when you have 3 teenage boys living under your roof plus their friends, well, one day I won't make a daily full grocery cart Kroger trip.)  He walked into the dining room eating--I was a little confused how he was eating when we had no food in the house; I chose not to ask.  Instead I reminded him he needed to go pick up the car (he's borrowing my mother-in-law's--no truck this year), pick up his tux, pick up the corsages (William can't drive--he needed to get his too) and shower. He just kept telling me it would be fine.

Just then the girls walked in loaded down with grocery bags.  "DO NOT TOUCH THESE GROCERIES!" Caroline yelled as Boss approached.  That might as well have been a double dog dare you, he descended upon them and began pulling groceries from the bag.  They were both screeching, he was tearing open the chocolate chips...it wasn't pretty.  Suddenly there was an even louder scream as SK took a closer look at Boss, "Look at your hair!  Have you even showered?"  I should have stayed out of it, but instead I piped in, "No he hasn't and he hasn't gone to get his tux yet."  "Are you kidding me?" SK kept yelling.  "GO NOW!!"  He continued digging through the grocery bags.

He stopped foraging for a moment, looked up and said, "Why don't you just go get it for me?"  I thought SK's head might start spinning around. "Are you an idiot?  You have to try it on."  "Why?" "TO SEE IF IT FITS!!!"  I tried to explain to him that even though he had tried one on when he ordered it he still needed to make sure what they ordered worked, but I was interrupted.  "JUST GO!!"  "I will," he answered still not moving.

"You are totally stressing me out," SK continued.  "I've got to do your hair; you've got to...." "Wait, what?" Caroline sputtered, "Do his hair?"  "Yes I'm going to straighten it and put it in a man bun." (I was wondering how the Girlfriend felt about that but was smart enough to keep my mouth shut...) "Mom," SK turned to me, "Do something about him?  He's got so much to do and he's not moving.  I know I'm going to make you a list on the chalkboard and you can check things off."  "Nope," he said, (I was thinking he was going to take control of his own prom preparations but alas...) "not the chalkboard.  I hate the sound of chalk writing."  "I"ll get a piece of paper" Caroline contributed grabbing a piece and sitting down at the dining room table. "What do we need on it?"  "Not with pencil," said Boss, "I hate the sound of pencil on paper."  The things you learn about your children...


"Okay Caroline," SK continued, "Start writing--car, tux, corsage, shower." Boss piped in, "Add get ice coffee to it."  "What order?" Caroline asked.  "IT DOESN'T MATTER!!  HE HAS TO DO IT ALL!!" SK continued to shout.  "Mama, you've got to do something about him.  I do everything for him--make his coffee, pick up after him--he can't do anything for himself.  Fix it; I mean fix him. When you were gone I ground the beans, filled the coffee maker with water Thursday night and all he had to do was turn it on Friday morning and he didn't even do that!  What is wrong with him?"  (I thought but wisely did not say, "sounds like nothing; he's got you doing everything for him.")  She continued, "You've got to stop doing stuff for him; he can't do anything for himself.  You make his coffee.  While you were gone he just sat in that chair all sick like and said, 'make me iced coffee please.' I told him no so he says, 'you probably don't even know how to make it well' trying to use reverse psychology.  I still said no and then he said,'oh go ahead and try' AND I DID.  This is all your fault."(Somehow I knew it would come back to being my fault) "He's a little prince; I do everything for him and you are the one who taught me how to spoil people." (She has a point; I've written about it before-- I Like to do Things for Them )  Boss stood up and nonchalantly walked out of the room.  I guess we all assumed he was starting on that list...

(All this time I was texting both the girlfriend's mother and the after prom party mother grateful technology has not advanced to the point where they could hear the chaos going on--I suspect if they could have Boss may no longer have a date tonight and I'd be hosting after prom....)

Fifteen minutes later he walked back in.  I really think SK was going to have an apoplectic attack. "GO!!" and then in a fit of desperation she added, "Here's the deal if you will go right this minute I'll pick up the corsages."  And he ran out the door...

It's now 3:00 pm; we have the car, a tux, and the flowers--hoping the shower is soon.  He's calling SK the prom natzi, but I think he'll be ready.