There were five of us in the car heading to fall gathering at All Saints. The babies, a shy seventh grader, and a young man who was a Karen refugee--sweet and kind. Honestly I don't know what people are thinking when they ask me to take their children to All Saints. An hour and a half in the car with our family? Seriously?!?!?! Do you know who we are? And yesterday was worse because the traffic was horrible and Caroline's energy was high....
In between spurts of "Why is the traffic so bad?' William, "It's rush hour." Caroline, "Well no one seems to be rushing." and "How much longer will there be traffic?' I have no idea I'm not psychic, Our guests were napping and Caroline was having a monologue of her own most of what I was ignoring. Will I ever learn? "Mama, Mama, I'm asking you a question, " Caroline pushed on my seat and said, "Aren't you listening to me?" Well I think it most have been obvious I wasn't, so I didn't answer. She continued without missing a beat, "Do you know ___________?" I tried to get context as she blurted out, "You know the tall nerdy kid who's totally weird?" Oh yeah, well that certainly narrows it down oh 5'10 totally weird child of mine. I simply responded, "I know who he is." "Well, " Caroline informed me, "Maria doesn't like him because he groped her." "WHAT?!?!?!?" Now she had my full attention as I was trying not to have an accident as I contorted my body to look at her while simultaneously rehearsing i my mind a conversation with Maria's mother. "You know, last week when she went to school with me." I tried to remain calm, "He groped her and you are just now telling me? Did you tell anyone?" Caroline, "Why would I do that?" "Caroline," I tried to calmly continue, "Please tell me exactly what happened." Caroline, "It wasn't that big of a deal. He just walked up to her and groped her arm really tightly." William, sitting in the front seat, is looking at me with a "she's an idiot" look.
My heart rate began to drop and I said, "Caroline, that is called gripping her arm. You can't go around and say someone groped someone. That's going to really get someone in trouble." (I totally missed the point that he also should not have been gripping her arm tightly but that's a conversation for another day." "Why not?" Caroline truly innocently asked. "Because," I said, "That is not what people think of when they hear the word groping. And if you said that at school he would get called in and be in some really big trouble before it got sorted out." "Well, what does groping mean?" she asked. William yanked off his ear phones and said, "PLEASE do not tell her!!!!" "Yes, tell me," she hollered from the back seat. "Mama please no," William begged. "William I have to explain it. She can't say things she doesn't understand." I said as I looked in the rear view mirror to make certain our guests were still napping. "Caroline, groping is usually the term used when someone grabs your breasts or bottom, so when you say someone has groped someone else that is what most people think you're talking about." William buried his head in his hands just at the time I realized our guests are also possums. As they were holding their sides and silently laughing, Caroline finished the conversation with, "I still like the word grope better than grip." "Caroline, just because you like a word better doesn't mean you can use it inappropriately." "Who's going to stop me?" Caroline asked, "The groping police."
We arrived at All Saints and as I got out of the car I saw our good friend and family favorite John MacLean, "Just so you know, Caroline was in rare form (or really just normal form) so the other two...." I began to say, but really how do you explain or even know what the other two might need? Instead I finished with, "Good luck. Have a great weekend."
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