Ice Cream and Uterine Linings

Caroline was so grumpy as we left the lacrosse field Saturday morning.  They had tied after being ahead most of the game.  She didn't think she'dplayed well and she was really down on herself.  I kept trying to get her to smile and none of my usual antics were working.  She was not impressed with my dancing in the parking lot or singing--this new competitive Caroline is going to take getting used to!

William wanted Brueggers bagels and Caroline wanted a salad from Chop Shop--another thing to get used to Caroline asking for nutritious meals.  They're across the street from each other, so both could be happy--score for Mama and Daddy--two kids wanting different things and we can do both with minimal effort. Caroline did not perk up during lunch a fact made clear when she tried to stab William's hand with her fork (plastic) when he touched her pita bread.  Fortunately for Caroline I was being sidetracked by her sister texting me from traffic school and explaining to me that she was pretty sure this is what hell was like and perhaps I could work that into a sermon sometime. (I love getting sermon advice from the children; most of the time it is just 'make sure it's short'.)

As we walked into the house Caroline saw Boss eating ice cream.  "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!" she shouted, "HOW COME NO ONE TOLD ME WE HAVE ICE CREAM?"  I refrained from saying either, "It's a state secret" which would have been obnoxiously sarcastic or "So much for eating healthy" which would have been both obnoxiously sarcastic and mean.  Instead I said, "you're welcome to have some."  "Oh don't worry," she responded as she began to dish it out, "I plan to."  (I also refrained from chastising Boss for eating directly out of the container; he'd just awakened after being out on his blind prom date.  That's another post..)

At this moment William walked into the kitchen, "What we have ice cream?  No one told me." Seriously I do not hide ice cream (I do however hide my special oatcake cookies..).  Boss, "I found it just by opening the freezer door." Caroline glared at him.   "Can I have some?" William asked.  "NO!" Caroline shrieked as she glared.  "What is wrong with her Mama?" William asked me.  I was about to say, "How much time do you have?" but I was stopped by Caroline saying, "I'm PMSing, you're not.  I get ice cream."  At this moment the basement door opened and Laney a sleep over friend emerged--I thought she'd left earlier in the morning.  Obviously the shrieking was enough to wake her even though her phone ringing wasn't--welcome to the Doyle's!  William began treading into dangerous waters when he said, "So just because you're a girl you get ice cream whenever you want?"  "Yes," Caroline spat out, "Do you have to put up with this every month?"  I looked over at William and saw in his eyes what he was thinking; I silently said Anne Lamott's quick Help prayer willing him not to say, "Actually yes I do have to put up with it every month THROUGH YOU!!!"  He didn't say it--crisis averted!  "Laney," I sweetly asked, "Would you like some ice cream?"  "Yes please," she answered without shrieking--she is welcome ANYTIME!  Caroline glared at me and perhaps at Laney too.  We are so hospitable.

She finished scooping out her ice cream, left the container on the counter (I assumed it was so William and Laney could actually get some--at least that's what I chose to assume so I didn't have to fuss at her for not cleaning up after herself), walked into the den and said, "I'm going to just go in here, be grumpy, eat my ice cream and wait for my uterine lining to shed."

William silently scooped out his ice cream and offered to make Laney a milkshake. without asking her about her uterine lining--he's learning.  His wife can thank us now.