"UGHH!" said Caroline as she threw herself and her back pack in the front seat after school yesterday. (And trust me the throwing a 5' 10" body around plus an oversized backpack certainly makes an impression on the driver. I gripped the steering wheel as the car shook a little.) Rachel calmly got into the back seat bursting into uncontrollable laughter. It is always a risk asking Caroline how her day was--you never know what antics have happened, but when her best friend is in hysterics, you can pretty safely assume you're not going to get a G rated answer. But I asked anyway...
"The day was fine until the end," started Caroline. "Then Garrett decided he wanted to pickpocket my backpack, so he reached into the pocket and pulled out a TAMPON! Then he was embarrassed when he realized what it was so he threw it across the floor." Rachel is now doubled over in laughter trying desperately to breathe as she says, "And Caroline ran over there to pick it up without her backpack so she had to carry it back in her hand!" Caroline, "I had to go get it--Mama you tell me they're expensive, plus I need to always be prepared. But then Garrett wanted to talk to me. Really?!?!?!?" "I'm sorry," I said, "That does sound like a bad way to end the day." "Oh no," interrupted Caroline, "That wasn't the bad part. The bad part was I had another fight with Ross." "Caroline," I tried to calmly say, "You have to leave Ross alone. He's a senior; he doesn't want to deal with you." Caroline abruptly turned her body to face me (well as much as you can turn a 5' 10" body in a seat belt) and with complete annoyance she shrieked, "HE STARTED IT!!" I was having a very hard time believing a senior boy started an argument with an 8th grader, so I asked the question... "Well," Caroline said as she settled down in her seat, "He walked by me and gave me a mean look so I said, 'Why are you always looking at me mean?' and then I said to Gingi (her nickname for another senior boy), 'Make him stop being mean to me all the time.' so Gingi told him to leave me alone (well he used some words you don't like but you get the point.) And then I said, 'why are you so mean?' and he said because you're annoying. So," continued Caroline without taking a breath, "I asked him how I was annoying. And he said like when you just walk up to random senior boys and hold their hands. Can you believe it Mama? He's holding what I did last semester against me?" While Caroline was now forced to take a breath so she didn't pass out I was desperately trying to come up with an answer---last fall she would walk up to random boys and hold their hands as they walked down the hall. There was a part of me that was horrified, a part of me that was amused, and honestly a part of me that secretly envied her self confidence. "Well," I said, "Maybe not all the boys thought it was as funny as Gingi did." Caroline had me so befuddled now I was using the nickname! Caroline, "Like I told him--you shouldn't hold what I did last semester against me; I was so much less mature." I was trying to stifle my laughter as I said, "Maybe you should just leave him alone." "I will when he stops giving me mean looks." Clearly she is so much more mature. Lord have mercy...
Later that afternoon SK and I were catching up on her day. "Can I just go ahead and click this accept button for UVA?" "ABSOLUTELY!" I exclaimed. Now I was ready to talk about choosing dorms (definitely Old Dorms), room mates, colors etc but instead I heard, "I heard Ross and Caroline got in another argument today." "How in the world did you hear about it already? You go to a totally different school and it JUST happened?" SK, "It happens all the time and they both start texting me telling me how annoying the other one is." I could only shake my head as I tried to figure out a way to not go to the lacrosse games--it was so cold and windy. SK reading my mind, "If you don't go you'll feel guilty and never get over it. You'll keep telling yourself how you aren't seeing them for a whole week, what a terrible mother you are, and next week will be miserable for me on the cruise." I wanted to comment on how she was making it about her, but she had a point and so I left wondering if I needed a disguise so Ross' parents wouldn't recognize that I was the mother of the annoying 8th grader who fortunately didn't want to go.
After the game we all went to dinner where we watched basketball and excitedly talked about our different spring break plans. "You know Mama, a lot of people are going to Panama City and that place is wild." Christopher informed me. "One of my teachers told me that 60% of people between the ages of 15 and 18 years old get in some type of trouble down there." I thought about asking how you could possibly collect that data but I was also relieved that none of mine were going there whether the survey was statistically significant or not. I really should have turned it into a stats lesson because SK pipes up, "Yeah last year a bunch of girls came back from Panama with chlamydia." "Chla what?" asked Caroline "An STD" SK answered matter-of-factly. Caroline, "That would be awful to have some disease you couldn't even pronounce." Now while I was trying to get my head around that comment and turn this into a health lesson stressing that not being able to pronounce it would be the least of your problems Christopher interjected, "You know how bad our defense has been lately?" I must have looked as perplexed as I felt; all I could think was this conversation was going somewhere related to the saying 'slipped one past the goalie' (so I really am a 15 year old boy at heart) because Christopher exasperatedly continued, "the lacrosse defense." (He secretly knows I'm a 15 year old boy at heart) "Anyway, we haven't had much energy; have looked pretty dead. So I told Ross (oh boy here we go again) that we needed to do the nay nay and he said, 'shut up Doyle' But then we did it and did you see how awesome we were tonight? We had a whole new level of energy. Now Ross has to admit I'm right. We'll probably do it every game." And now they are all demonstrating the nay nay (a dance) as I watched the glasses positive that one was about to go sailing off the table. "He probably is annoyed with you because you're a Doyle. He and Caroline got in another argument today." I explained. At this William put his head in his hands. "Please Caroline," he begged "you've got to stop. Do you know how much hazing I'm going to get from him because of you? It's going to hurt." Caroline, "I can't let him get away with it. Until he stops looking mean at me I'm not going to stop annoying him." "Caroline," Christopher tried to explain, "William really will get hazed--he's a freshman." Caroline looked around the table smugly and then directly at William and said, "Guess you'll have to take one for the team--the Doyle team."
I am so glad it's spring break--I bet Ross is too.
No comments:
Post a Comment