The Flu Shot Failure

Yesterday morning started as most mornings--coffee, laundry, a little quiet time, and a run.  I was actually feeling pretty good..

As I was out running my music was interrupted by Caroline's ringtone.  "Mama, where are you?" I heard her quietly say.  "Out for a run--everything okay?"  A sob escaped her throat, "No, I feel terrible; my head hurts, my throat hurts, and my legs ache.  Please come home."  Uh oh--this can't be good.  She's up early and asking me to come home.  I headed straight home and my suspicions were confirmed as I entered the den.  There lay Caroline, no TV on, no phone in her hand (and I'm pretty sure it hadn't been surgically removed which I believe may be the only way to remove it),  she was just quietly lying there with tears streaming down her face.  I immediately took her temperature and it was rising to above 100.

As the daughter of a doctor, I learned early on that doctor offices have a great time making fun of people who call a)all the time and b) when it's just a cold, so I am programmed to never call before 48 hours of illness (unless there's asthma involved of course--learned that lesson the hard way). But I knew the flu could come on quickly and I knew they could prescribe tamiflu within the first 24 hours and I knew I hadn't taken Caroline to get a flu shot.  So I picked up the phone.

I began explaining to the receptionist that I don't usually call on the weekends, I don't usually call the minute the children are sick, I hate to bother her, and maybe we don't really need to be seen today but I just wanted to run it by her.  (I'm suspecting she was rolling her eyes and wondering why this crazy lady felt the need to unburden herself  as she was watching all the other lines lighting up with equally--maybe not equally-neurotic mothers. And by the way, it was her job to answer the phones--if these crazy parents weren't bothering her she wouldn't have a job.)  She pleasantly responded, "Sore throat?  Could be strep she should be seen." At this point I felt I should make a complete confession, "Could it be flu?  She hasn't had a flu shot."  DEAD SILENCE  Perhaps it was only a few seconds, but I felt like it was an eternity and that she was probably marking in large red marker on the front of our file "NO FLU SHOT AND IT'S DECEMBER"  Again pleasantly, but a little less patiently she replied, "You didn't get her a flu shot?  How old is she?"  "13" I responded wanting to add but she's 5'10" and outweighs me, plus she's kind of sassy and we're really busy--oh and did I mention I'm a priest? Anything you want me to do for you? Instead we made the appointment, and I was secretly relieved that I had to go to work and Chris would have to take her and get the stare that comes when the doctor learns your children haven't had their flu shots--yep, it's happened before.

As SK was driving me to my car I told her that if Caroline had the flu I would call her and she would need to immediately go get a flu shot.  "By myself?" she asked with a tone of utter astonishment and disbelief.  "Yes by yourself; I've got to go to work.  I have baptismal prep this morning."  (Probably with a baby who has had his flu shot.)  "I can't go by myself," she retorted with an accusing tone that seemed to say, what kind of mother are you that makes your child go get a shot by herself--oh yeah, the kind of mother that also doesn't take her children to get flu shots the day they come out.  "Sarah Katherine," I calmly said trying to regain any credibility I had as a preventive health care mother, "You are going to college in 9 months; you have gone to the doctor before by yourself.  And need I remind you your over 18."  "But," she humphed "It was never for a shot."

I returned home as the boys were getting out of bed.  I repeated my instructions to them about flu shots if Caroline was positive, and then I told Chris about making her appointment (leaving out the guilty pleasure I had that I wasn't the one taking her in)  As I got to the part about the long pause after the confession of not having had flu shots, Boss said, "You know that lady was probably thinking 'what a shitty mother--wonder if she even loves her kids?'"  He certainly knows how to heap burning coals upon an already guilt ridden soul--I couldn't even correct his language.  "Yeah," William added, "And didn't Pop remind you about that last weekend when he was here for Caroline's play?  I think he told you several times and stressed how important it was. And," he added just to punctuate the importance of the conversation, "he's a doctor."  Feeling very chastised I thought to myself, "Yeah he stressed over and over to get ya'll flu shots but apparently he didn't take quite the same amount of time with his advice on how NOT to have four children in four years and he certainly never taught me how to surgically close your mouths as you entered the teen years! Now that would have been useful advice.)  William continued, "I think even Babah told you the other day."  Oh the joys of having divorced parents--double the advice in double the time.  "Anyway," finished William, "I'm not going today; I'm not getting a shot on my birthday."  "You'll be lucky if you have another," I thought as I slunk out of the room.

The good news is that Caroline doesn't have the flu or strep--just a regular old virus.  (You know the kind that the nurses make fun of you for bringing your children into the office immediately upon the start of symptoms?)They tested her for both, "First they stab and choke you," she told me, "And then they scratch your brain sticking a long q-tip like thing up your nose all to tell you there's nothing they can do--just drink fluids. And now I can't even go to Owensboro for the birthday party--you won't let me." she added with an accusing tone.  I may not be good at getting my children flu shots, but apparently I am personally responsible for viruses.  Glad I'm responsible for something.

Guess who's going to get flu shots?