The Day Our Family Became Complete

Yellow gingham with storks smocked on them

My children love to hear the stories of their births--and then they share them--well, they share them in the way they want to share them.  Caroline, for example, informed the entire Collegiate 8th grade that she was one of the 1% birth control failures.  Well I am happy to use that to perpetuate fear and celibacy in her but it's only part of the story.

I knew I was pregnant almost immediately.  I didn't tell Chris--the children were 9 months, 26 months, and just turned 4--I needed him not to have a heart attack--I didn't want to be left with these monkeys!   I went a bought a pregnancy test--negative.  So I bought a second one, negative. So as any  slightly crazed, exhausted mother of three would do, I bought a third. This time it barely came up positive if I waited for 30 minutes and if I held it up to the light just right.  I called the hotline--they said it wasn't accurate after 10 minutes.  So I called the OBGYN and was put straight through to Dr. Ruth Cline's nurse--I was on a first name basis with everyone.  Cheryl said, "Mrs. Doyle, if they are all negative you are not pregnant."  (She didn't add, "you lunatic that is also on birth control.")  I hung up but couldn't relax, so I called back.  "Do you think I should go buy another test and take it again?"  Cheryl, "No, I don't think you should do that.  You have already spent more on tests and taken more than you need to--they are very accurate."  It was nap time and I knew my time was limited so I refused to take no for an answer.  "But what if they are wrong?  Maybe I should buy one and do it first thing in the morning."  Cheryl, who also knew Chris fairly well said, "Mrs. Doyle, your husband is going to kill you if you keep spending money on pregnancy tests that keep coming back negative.  Why don't you come into the office and we'll do one here."  "Oh thank you!  I'll get the children up and come right down."  "Whenever they wake up will be fine." Cheryl answered obviously not wanting three tired children whose insane mother woke them up in the office.

 I went down to the office, took the test--negative.  The next day I called again; instead of Cheryl, I was put straight through to the doctor.  Ruth, "Katherine you are driving my staff crazy."  I wasn't even offended, "But Ruth," I whined, "We are about to put money down on an all inclusive family cruise.  What if I'm pregnant and can't go?"  Ruth, "You are not pregnant but if you promise to not call this office again (she didn't say never again, but she may have thought it), I will send you for a blood test this afternoon."

I got the children dressed and was heading out the door when the phone rang.  It was Chris.  "Hey, I can't talk right now I'm running out the door."  Chris knowing the value of naps said, "Now?  Where are you going?"  I briefly thought about lying, but nothing good was coming to my mind, so I decided to tell a half truth.  "I just have to run get some routine blood work done.  I'll call you when I get back."  LONG PAUSE--I think I might have heard him gulp.  "You think you're pregnant don't you?"  I started talking a mile a minute, "Oh it's probably nothing; the doctor's office thinks I'm crazy since over the past few days I've done 7 tests and they're all negative."  "Wait," interrupted Chris. "You've done 7 pregnancy tests?"  Now how was I going to explain this to him?  I hemmed and hawed and just said, "Gotta run.  Love you."  Out the door to the lab and home for naps.  I was very efficient when I wanted to be.

That evening I was driving to church for Wednesday night supper talking to my dear friend and William's godmother on the phone.  Just as I passed the Kappa house (you really never forget these moments) the other line rang.  "Katherine, it's Ruth.  I don't know how to explain this, but you're pregnant."  "I told you I wasn't crazy." I answered.  "Actually," replied Ruth, "You're going to have four children in 4 1/2 years, so yeah, I think you probably are."  I clicked back to Christy and said, "I am P-R-E-G-N-A-N-T"  "I so want to see Chris' reaction when you tell him!"  (I'm sure her husband and Caroline's Godfather had a much more sympathetic response, but when you're mothers of three very small children as we both were you look for entertainment anyway you can get it.)  I arrived at church, got in line and waited for Chris to show up.  He tapped me on the back, "Did you get the blood test?"  "Yes" "And?" "Yes"  And not another word was spoken by him for the entire evening.

Don't want to belabor the next 8 months so I'll bullit point them:

• I was in maternity clothes by 10 weeks
• my hormone levels were rising so quickly that the nurses had a pool on whether it was twins or triplets (It really is a good thing Chris didn't know that until after we knew there was just one.)
• I threw up non stop for the first 4 1/2 months--only pregnancy I was sick with, and yes I lost total pride--Christmas parades, school parking lots, chick-fil-A, you name it
• I have no idea how much weight I gained because I started refusing to step on the scale.  Ruth allowed it--there are some perks to being a frequent flyer
• a great way to be entertained is to show up 7 months pregnant at the pool (looking like your overdue) and have the teenage boy lifeguard ask you if you're allowed to be there.  Then have your friend answer, "Well they did cover delivering babies in training right?"  No amount of sunburn could cover how quickly his face paled.  He never spoke to us again, but I think he exhaled every time I left the pool.

And just to throw this public service announcement in--when a woman is pregnant with her fourth child, do not ask

• Do you know what causes this?
• Are you sure it's not twins?
• Are you sure they have the due date correct?  (Seriously, as Chris said we have three children under three, we can give you the date, time and place!)
• Was this planned?
• Are you sure you can have a fourth c-section? (First, there's no other way to get this child out and second, Rose Kennedy had 12!)
• How are you going to do it?  (I'm going to get up every morning and just do it--it's called being a Mommy)
• Do you know how expensive this is going to be?  (Because we need to be reminded?)

Finally the morning of the C-section came.  We were so excited to find out if we were going to welcome James Patrick or Caroline Elizabeth in to our lives.  I had to have 6 hours of antibiotics before the C-section because of strep something or another.  I told Chris I would just drive myself to the hospital at 6 am and then he could get the children to the Adams around 11 and meet me for the noon birth.  Again 3 children under 4 you have to be practical.  But that morning all three came flying down the stairs as I was leaving crying because they wanted to go.  We didn't want to be late, so we just loaded them into the suburban pj's and all and headed downtown.  As we headed downtown I said, "Chris I want to use my maiden name somewhere in the name."  Chris looked over at me with a semi glazed look in his eyes and said, "Whatever you want darlin'"  We arrived with all three padding down the hall--there might have been a few stares--there were a few stares. Chris got me settled as the children climbed all over me, the bed, the rocking chair--everywhere.  A nurse asked, "How old are they?"  I confidently replied, "5, 3 and 18 months)  Chris looked at me, looked at the nurse, looked back at me and said, "She's lying.  They're 4,2 and 17 months."  I sheepishly looked down--"well it sounded better the other way."

I'm not sure how Chris got them out of the room but he did and my dear friend Krista sat with me until Chris could get back.  As they were prepping me for surgery they asked me to take my rings off--as happens every time, I refused.  I just couldn't bring myself to deliver a baby without my rings on--don't question a pregnant woman about to deliver.  Ruth was assisted by one of her partners and another friend Andrew.  As they began prepping me, Andrew and Chris started talking about good running routes around downtown and Ruth and I started talking about the sales at the children's store around the corner.  We were laughing and having a good time.  One nurse kept fussing with my blankets and interrupting to ask if I needed anything.  When she started explaining what would be happening, a second nurse winked at me, leaned over and whispered, "She does this every year; she knows what's going on."  

Ruth pulled the baby half way out increasing the suspense.  She pulled her all the way out and tears and cheers erupted.  I had no idea until that moment how desperately I wanted it to be a girl.  The boys had each other and I so wanted SK to have a sister like I did.  The pediatrician took her to the corner to check her over.  I had told Ruth I wanted my tubes tied once I knew everything was fine. As the pediatrician was checking her out Andrew and Chris were trying to figure out if they would have time for a quick run before she came back to the nursery.  Ruth, "Ya'll go ahead.  I can sew her up by myself."  Chris, "I"m not leaving until I see those tubes burned and tied."  Ruth laughing asked the pediatrician, "Is she a keeper?"  "Definitely."  More cheers and for the first time in a delivery room Chris walked around the drape and said, "Let me watch please."  Then he and Andrew left for a quick run while Caroline KANTO Doyle was being bathed and cleaned up.  And that day our family became complete.