It's over--the 45 children birthday party for my 13 year old. And you know, for the most part it was fun. Everyone arrived, we sent them on a scavenger hunt, fed them a taco bar and watched some of the drama of which there was one "major".
Back for a minute to the difference between 12-13 year old boys and 12-13 year old girls. The boys were having a great time throwing the football to each other and then they started some sort of game where they throw the ball in the air and all run for it (no broken boys happened :)) The girls divided into three groups-the ballet crowd who danced their hearts out to the music, the in my opinion smart second group who wanted to hang with the boys so used the theory if you can't beat them join them and they did--in the football game, and that left the much smaller group who just wanted to complain the boys were playing football. Now the queen of this group not only wanted to complain to her group here, but she got on her cell phone to call all of her "eighth grade sports friends" to tell them how the party "suc.."--you fill in the blank. Apparently that was not enough drama for her because she decided to go around the party trying to convince people to leave and go to someone else's house (the someone else had no interest in leaving our party--see the first two groups.) We adults watched this for a bit and then we'd had enough. I calmly (at least on the outside) approached the girl and said, "Sweetie, if you're not having fun I'd be happy to call your parents to come get you. But we're not going to continue talking ugly about the party here and disrupting others fun." Sheepishly she tried to defend herself and I replied, "We're going to drop it and move on with the party."
Now to this girl's credit, I must tell you that she phoned me at 10 pm to apologize and to explain that she was mad the boys were playing football. (Again I wonder what did she think they were going to do?) I told her I appreciated her call and that it takes a very big person to admit they were wrong and apologize. And I do believe it does.
The next day, Sarah Katherine and I were talking about the incident. I told her that I approached the girl for a couple of reasons. First and foremost I was defending Sarah Katherine and I was not going to allow one person to ruin her party; secondly I wanted her to see that when in a conflict with someone it was better to address the person directly and not triangulate all the friends. I also told her that it took a lot of courage for this girl to call me and that I appreciated it. Then I had to also teach Sarah Katherine a little bit of life lesson. I told her that while the young lady had apologized, this was not the first time she had done something to Sarah Katherine that wasn't very kind. I told her forgiveness is important, but that she might want to keep a little file in the back of her mind about these things because they may speak to the girl's character and I hate to see her putting herself in a position to be hurt over and over. Sarah Katherine was quiet for a few moments and then said, "Mama, that file on -------- is getting kind of big."
And I end this post by saying I am so proud of Sarah Katherine; I adore her and love watching her grow up AND I am so thankful I am no longer 13!
