It's Citrus

Last Friday night we arrived in Georgia to be instantly greeted not only by my father and step mother but also by a slew of ticks.  I walked from my car to the patio where my step-sister points to my sweater and says, "what's that?"  Yep--a tick.  Several hours later I found one burrowed into my waist.  I quickly removed it forgetting my Georgia roots and the lessons I learned about ticks--"NEVER", I was told, "take a tick off yourself.  You have to make sure you get it all, so find someone to help you."  Perhaps that was easy to follow as a tom-boy running half wild during long hot Georgia summers, but as a middle aged woman--well, I was just grossed out and wanted it off me.

Twenty four hours later we were headed to the beach--my waist kept itching, and I slightly raised my shirt to scratch, Caroline saw the flaming red welt and asked what happened.  Nonchalantly I replied, "I had a tick I took off."  My now living in Kentucky children apparently remembered their Georgia roots because they all shrieked, "You're not supposed to do that!!!!"  "Well I did." I answered, "It'll be fine."  That seemed to quiet them, and I thought to myself, "See I'm still in charge as the mother.  They still believe everything I say.  I can still calm them."

Fifteen minutes later-Christopher, "What if you get lemons?"  "Lemons?" I answered completely baffled, "We can get some at The Pig when we get there if you want."  "No--lemons disease from the tick." Christoper explained. I semi-contained my laughter and said, "Oh, you mean lymes disease--"  Christopher, "Well I knew it was some sort of citrus."

There was no good comeback

This it the first summer where I am working full time.  Having a child who is a driver, while increasing my gray hair, is also increasing the freedom I have to be gone.  We have hired Sarah Katherine to be our nanny/driver/errand runner etc.  Every morning before I leave for work--while they are still sleeping and will be for the next 4 or 5 hours, I leave a very detailed, and yes color coded note, on everyone's responsibilities for the day.  I am very careful to make sure they know what time they need to be at practices, games, camps etc.  Overall, this has been working very well.  Occasionally I have to "show" them the proper way to say  fold a shirt--seems they believe that if it is just smaller and can be shoved in their drawers it's folded.  But again, overall, I have been pleased.  They are learning responsibility and are enjoying some of their new found freedom.
Last week, Chris and I met to take care of some banking business.  We were close to home, so we decided to go home for lunch.  As usual, I had left a note for the two children in town.  The note was surprisingly short as they had been so good at being on top of things.  Christopher didn't have basketball until 4, so for the most part, minus the few chores I left (one each), they were free.
Chris and I walked in the house (1:00 pm) to find both still in their sleep attire and on various technological apparatuses.  Sarah Katherine had already completed her one chore of folding the laundry.  I certainly did not want to compare them, but I decided to ask anyway why Christopher hadn't finished his--
Me: Christopher, why haven't you cut the grass yet?

Christopher:  (barely looking up), Because I didn't think you'd be home yet.

And with that, I went to make my lunch.

PS--the grass was cut by the end of the day with no more reminders.

Hanging Up Towels

I'm pretty sure it is not unreasonable to ask my children not to leave their wet towels on their floor, their bed, their dresser, or a myriad other places that I have found them. So what they do is--put them in the dirty clothes, EVERY DAY!!!

Now I'm pretty neurotic about clean, sweet smelling towels (and sheets ironed with a linen mist), so I typically wash them every three days. Apparently that is not good enough for my children, it's every day for them. This morning as I looked into the dirty clothes hamper and saw the very towels that I had hung in the bathroom last night after folding them from the dryer, I began to feel annoyed--ok, not annoyed, down right irritated. I leaned down and started to pick up Sarah Katherine's with the intention of throwing it back into her room where I would then berate her for leaving it on the floor. But as I was bending down, out of nowhere tears came to my eyes. You see, last week we went on our first college tour, and I saw my eldest blossom. I saw her walk across grounds at UVA, and I could picture her there. I could see it in my mind, and I know she will be walking the grounds of some college campus in two short years.

So I put that towel back in the hamper and lugged it to the laundry room where I will wash it again today and probably again tomorrow and the day after and the day after. In two years, I will wish I was washing her towels, her clothes, her sheets, and in six very short years all four will be gone. My laundry will massively decrease; my heart will be bursting with pride while it breaks. I will miss them terribly--even their towels.

PS--it helps that my wonderful husband just bought me an extra large washer and dryer!

Just another ride home

Last night we had church directory pictures--yes there is a blog in that experience, but it was the ride home that gets center stage this morning.

The conversation started with a simple statement that we needed to stop for tampons either tonight or I could get them in the am.

Chris: Menstruation sure is expensive.

William: SK showed me how to use a tampon today.

Christopher: When did you show him?

SK: I didn't show him on me. I just showed him what they looked like, and I showed him how you push them up.

Note that it never occurred to anyone to doubt that she had showed him--ugh--

Chris: Need I remind you that menstruation is expensive. We don't need to waste the product for tutorials.

William: Do you have to change them everyday?

SK: Every couple of hours. It's about not getting infections.

William: Every couple of hours!?!?! You must use a lot of tampons.

Caroline: Tampons are a great invention. I wonder who invented them? It's a good thing they did or there would be blood everywhere.

SK: No, before tampons they had pads.

William: What did they have before pads?

SK: I have no idea, maybe they didn't use anything.

William: What about during the frontier days?

SK: I don't know. They had long dresses.

William: So that's why they wore hoop dresses back then.

Christopher and SK together: NO!!!!

Caroline: What about the Indians? I mean they barely wore anything down there.

Christopher: They barely wore anything at all.

SK: I should have done the history of the tampon for my National History day project.

Chris: No, it's probably better that you didn't.

SK: The pill would have been good then.

Me: There's not a very long history of the pill. It's relatively new.

William: What's the pill?

we are now in the neighborhood, so I'm thinking this conversation cannot deteriorate; how wrong I was.

SK: (briefly explains what the pill is to William)

William: Are you on the pill?

Chris and I together: NO!!!!

SK: But there are a lot of girls my age on it to help regulate themselves.

Christopher: Yeah, right--

SK: No really, but the side effects can be pretty bad. Some people gain weight some break out.

I look over at Chris and can see the wheels spinning in his mind. How does she know about side effects?

SK: So, I don't think I want to go on it.

And with that we pulled into the driveway--just a family ride home from getting church directory pictures.

Oh Caroline

I'd like to say that dinner was typical last night, and I guess it was--just not typical in your Leave It to Beaver kind of way. No, the conversation was pretty much typical Doyle which is more PG 13 than G. Caroline had been talking about walking through the lingerie section of Dillards--of course she calls it the boobie department. In an effort to be a semi grownup, I suggested we call body parts by their correct names. So then we had to listen to a litany of body parts--scrotum, sac, well you get the picture.

I thought the conversation was moving in the more mature direction when Christopher mentioned that his moles had gone away. He's been very concerned about them and the possibility of cancer. While I have complete empathy for this fear, I have also been trying to down play it. Me, "Well that's good, I guess it means they weren't cancer." Christopher, "No Mama, it means the cancer has gone into my skin. You're going to be so sorry if something happens to me." Chris, "You don't have cancer." Christopher, "Keep telling yourself that when you're lowering the casket." So I respond, "Christopher I'll make an appointment, or we can do it at your next check up."

Caroline, "Don't you mean his next puberty check?"

I was feeling good

This past week I spent a great deal of time in the car--269 miles in four days to be exact. Lots of togetherness time with the children, particularly Caroline. And here is our recent exchange as she sat behind me.

Caroline: "Mama, are you just letting your hair turn naturally gray now or are you going to keep coloring it?"

Me: "I'm going to keep coloring it for awhile longer. I'm getting it cut and colored at my next appointment."

Caroline: "when is it?"

Me: "Sept. 26"

Caroline: "You may want to see if you can move that appointment up."

That Would Be Cheaper

Caroline got a new puppy for Christmas. She's trying to take good care of him, and I'm trying to teach her to take care of him without me telling her what to do.

Last week at dinner Caroline was very proud. "Mama, I washed Bobby today. He was covered in mud. But I didn't get it all; I need to work on it some more." I was so proud of her. "Maybe I can help you. Where is the mud you couldn't get?"
Caroline, "It's underneath him. There are two balls of mud. I pulled and pulled and he kept whining and wiggling, so I stopped. I think I might get some scissors and cut them out."

The boys start laughing hysterically while at the same time trying to cover themselves. "Caroline," sputters Christopher, "Those are his testicles."